Monday, May 14, 2012

He Can Break Your Chains and Set You Free!!!!

This is a letter that I received this morning and for any one of you that do not believe that Jesus meets us right where we are and uses us for His glory read on.  It is so humbling when the Holy spirit allows us to be a part of leading someone to HIM.  Thank you so much Walter for sharing how the Lord has set you free!!!  I want to share this so that others may read your very powerful testimony and may be moved by the Lord as well.  I am just praising Jesus for you and your family!!!  I am so happy for all of you!!!  Here is the letter that Walter sent to me this morning.  I hope that you are all as blessed by it as I was.

I am writing you here because I don't know how frequently you check your Disqus on your tumblr. My name is Walter and I want to write you a short story about how you changed my life.  I just turned 18 and for the last 2-3 years have greatly struggled with homosexuality and the urge and desire for other men.  It was a struggle I had and suffered alone.  I was raised by a good family of Catholics who are now Christians because of the outcome of this story.   I had an easy life, no problems and no worries really but when I turned 14 a teacher I had in school who was gay was someone I could really relate to because he used to talk about how he had no friends (and I had no friends) and he would talk about getting bullied (and I was bullied) and all of that so I really could relate to him and then I thought well he is gay so maybe that's the problem with me...maybe I am gay. 
So I sort of came "out" at school via dressing in really cute clothes and raising my talking voice so it was higher and changing my manerisms.  The bullying remained but I didn't care because I was fierce and the bullies couldn't get me down.   My dad noticed my change and my using some of my moms accessories and sat me down to talk to me.  I instantly rebelled and flipped out and I ran away and my parents found me and brought me home. I was gay and nothing anyone could say or do could change that.  Fast forward 2 years and a few boyfriends and I was feeling really empty and unfulfilled.  I convinced myself it would get better and that I just needed to graduate and get the hell out of San Diego and go to San Fran.  One day I was just in this dark and super depressing state of mind after having sex for the first time with a college guy (I was just turning 16) and I tried to kill myself.  I don't really remember why I did it but I just wanted to die.  My dad found me on the floor after he came home from work and rushed me to the hospital.  
I woke up strapped down in a hospital bed with tubes in me and I was alive.  I was so angry to be alive.  I was forced to go on psych hold because I tried to commit suicide and it was there that I met this older man who was a Christian and had backslid and tried to kill himself because he was addicted to sex and porn (but he was straight).  He was talking about going back to church and all of that and told me I needed Jesus too.  Of course I was resistent to hearing this because I was gay and I knew everything. 
Please know that from the time I was 16 my cousin Patrice showed me your website on Tumblr and I was going on it every day to fight with you about gay rights but I was reading what you wrote and I think to the depth of my soul it touched me.  
So I got released from the institution and came home. I was still in a super dark frame of mind and I wanted to go online and take it out on someone so I signed on Tumblr and anon asked you a question about being born gay and you answered that regardless of how we believe we were born, we must be born again in Christ.  Those words touched me to the depths of my soul and infuriated me so I sent you quite a few hateful comments that you deleted and felt good for a few hours.  I went to bed and woke up sobbing and then I wrote you under anon that I tried to kill myself and you comforted me even though I was gay.  There was no hate there.  No evil there. Just comfort and love even though I was gay so I went online to bilbegateway and started reading the New Living Translation of the Bible the book of John.  I found it interesting and asked you questions about things I read in scripture. Then I saw your scripture pics with one from 1 Corinthians and when I read that book my life changed.  
See miss Theresa, all the year and a half I read and hated you for being a Christian when I was gay, I was actually reading your page and somewhere inside me those words resonated.  When I tried to kill myself because I was gay and had sex and hated myself for it even though I had a strong facade, I came home and went on your site and said truly evil things to you and you still comforted me and gave me hope and scripture.  I was 16 1/2 then and I just turned 18.  I joined Calvary Chapel in San Diego Chula Vista the week after you answered me when I came home from the hospital, accepted Jesus into my heart and have never looked back. 
That was 1 year and 23 days ago.  I just wanted to thank you for all you do and for being there for me and not abandoning me when I needed you and not showing me hate when I needed love and guidance.  You truly are a woman of God and you have changed my life.  YOU DO SO MUCH GOOD FOR GOD ON YOUR WEBSITE and I know that if not for the scripture you wrote or the words you say on your site, I would be either spiritually or literally dead today.  
My family found Christ and we all became Christians and go to church and I gave my testimony about being an ex gay in our youth group and when I have days that are bad, I call my youth pastors and they really talk me through it.  God bless you miss Teresa.  God blessed me by sending me to your site.  I love you and wanted to thank you from the depths of my soul.  
You may share this if you want.  I don't care.  I just wanted you to know that you changed my life and now I know God and my family all are Christians because of your little site and your kindness even though I wrote  you hateful and mean things.  You were the flashlight that guided me through my darkness to the true light of Christ and salvation. 
God bless you. 
Walter aka Anon aka Waltie the Ex Gay


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