Thursday, June 10, 2010

Put God In Control and Watch The Spirit Move!

 As many of you know I had lung cancer and last year at this time I was in the midst of chemo.  God was working on me and my least favorite sin vanity.  Vanity is a sin that affects most human beings men as well as women.  The cancer had been removed from my body and I knew in my heart that it was done by the hand of God because he loved me and that it wasn't coming back.  I knew that I was given a second chance to live for Christ and that there was work he had for me to do.  Being human I was in awe of the power of God.  I felt so incredibly lucky and blessed.

I was not delighted about the prospect of  having poisonous chemicals pumped into my veins to kill off any remnants of this deadly cancer.  I can remember telling my husband that I was going to stand on my faith in God and not have the chemo.  My husband and children were really angry at me and begged me to go through this for them if not for myself.  I finally relented and started my summer of cysto platinum chemo-therapy.  I can remember praying every day before they would start the chemo that God would be with me through the ordeal.  That he would help me to be a good witness for him through this. The nurses that administered the drugs were gentle and caring.  But it was still a very scary place to be.

During the second month of chemo I noticed big patches of my hair begin to fall out every time I would brush my hair, run my fingers through my hair or take a shower.   I can remember sitting in my room in tears with a hand full of hair in my lap and a huge bald spot on my head.  Vanity  I believe is the favorite sin of the devil.  That is where it is easiest for him to get us.  I wasn't crying because I was dying of cancer, I was crying because I was going bald from the chemo.  In the culture that we live in today it is all about looking your best.  Being the best you that you can possibly be. Well that culture just doesn't do well with chemo therapy.

I will never forget one night when my hair was almost gone I had to run to the store to pick up something with my daughter and left the house without my scarf to cover my head.  I was so busy talking to her that I had completely forgotten it.  When I got to the store I said Oh my gosh I forgot my scarf!!!  Jeannie told me come on Mom lets just go in there and get our stuff its night and nobody is in their anyway.  As I was walking down the isles at the store I noticed a few young girls staring at me in horror.  My daughter noticed that I was cowering and she just told me "Hold your head high Mama, You have nothing to be ashamed of!"  I think that people look at you that way because they are all secretly afraid that it could happen to them. One woman apologized to me when I overheard her saying that she hated her hair.  I had to just burst out laughing at that.  God bless her heart, she really felt bad that she might have hurt my feelings.  When I went through the line at the cashiers they tried their level best not to stare at me.  They just wanted to get me through their line as soon as possible.  Then I would get people who knew me who would just burst into tears when they saw me.  I ended up comforting them.

God begin to work through me when I finally let vanity go.  The wonderful thing about being bald is you never have to worry about your hair.  I can remember being at Ala Moana Center and I saw Kanye West's girlfriend at Nordstrom.  I wanted to go and pray for her because she was bald too and I thought she was going through chemo as well.  My sales lady told me that she wasn't sick at all.  That she was a model and that was her style. She thought it was darling that I wanted to go and pray for her.  Wow!  For the first time ever in my whole life I felt chic!!!  I found that people were drawn to me during chemo and the Holy Spirit was able to come through me to minister to them.  With the vanity gone, I was more blessed than I ever had been.  God is so wonderful and loving in how he deals with us through out our life.  Sometimes he has to peel away the trappings of this life so that we can experience the AWESOME blessings that he has in store for all of us who allow him that access. I just want to keep that flow of the Holy Spirit in my life even now as my hair is growing in.  Gods love and his blessing are so precious and I never want to go back to the place where I don't have them in my life again.

Have any of you gone through this in your life?  Has God had a special way of working through you once you gave it all up to Him?  I was so blessed by what you shared last time that I would love to hear other ways God continues to move in your life even today.  I truly believe that we are living in the "last days" and that Jesus is coming soon.  I believe the bible when it says that the only way to get to heaven is to ask Jesus into your heart as your Lord and Savior.  I believe that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and no man can come to the Father except through Him.

8 comments:

WOW. You put a bald pic up? That's like totally brave yo. Props to you G!

I had cancer and I would never put my baldie photo up for the world to see. I think you are incredibly brave for doing so and putting yourself out there. I kind of feel like I read this from you before though. Perhaps I'm losing my mind. http://simplyheavenlyfood.blogspot.com/2010/04/everything-in-life-is-gift.html

Kanye west's girlfriend is trashy. Her hair is cropped on purpose and she has no sense of style. She probably would have yelled at you so it's a good thing you didn't lay hands on her.

God bless you, may He keep you cancer free!

I really admire all you cancer survivors. Know that I'm with you, my heart goes out to you, each one of you! My life has had moments that make me feel more saddened than I can explain, and I know that in this life it won't be perfect, but I know God knows at night there may be tears, but in the morning He can fill me with the happiness to be dancing!
The message goes out to all the precious hearts that have emailed or posted something on my facebook about hurting...and I want you to know how much I care about each of you!
Let's all stand strong, no matter how life may be crashing down around us, we WILL stand through the pain, we will make it out of each horrible situation, stronger!

May your day be filled with sparkles of happiness and your dreams be filled with sugary sweetness, and the feeling of this BIG HUG I am sending right to your heart!!!!

when the Lord is in control, sometimes you may not initially like how things happen in your life but at the end of it all, you realize how you HAD to experience the tragedy and fear to appreciate the good and the blessing. God bless you and your triumph over what has claimed the lives of so many! Only IN the Lord and OF the Lord can miracles happen and HE gave you an amazing miracle!

Amanda you are so right! We serve a God that loves us so much!! May your days be filled with that love of Jesus and here is a nice warm hug right back at you sister!!!

Wendy,
I can tell from your writing that the Lord has worked in your life. I was just so blessed all through my chemo time by Him. Yes He did give me a mighty miracle!!! I will serve Him all the days of my life. I will praise His Holy wonderful name!!!

Thanks Taryn, God bless your heart!!!

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