Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Everything In Life Is A Gift

I was just thinking this morning after I got the call from my nurse that my CAT scan was negative for lung cancer, that everything is a gift. When I got that call I felt like it was Christmas! I was so very thankful to the Lord above that I wanted to get up and dance! Woooo Hooo!!! Life is a gift!

For those of you who have been blessed with good health I sometimes feel sorry for you. You really don't realize what a great gift you have! You haven't stared death in the eyes and fell to your knees before God begging Him to help you. I am a christian and I tithe regularly. When I fell to my knees before God he heard me. Why wouldn't He? I am His child. As a parent and a grandparent we know that children can whine and moan and groan over every little problem that they have. As a parent you would look up at them and say okay well it isn't bad they are just exaggerating it and go about your business. But, when you hear your child scream out with great fear, there is not a parent in the world that wouldn't rush to their child's aid.

That is what my Father did for me. He told me in the hospital right before lung surgery, "The Breath of Heaven is holding you in His arms" As soon as I heard those words all fear left me. I was told by my surgeon that somebody up there really loved me because my cancer had not moved. It was right next to the lymph nodes in the center of my chest and didn't spread to them. That was particularly unusual because I had small cell cancer. Small cell cancer is known for spreading quickly and mine thanks be to God did not. Everyone at the hospital told me how good I looked. I was up the evening of my surgery and walking, and the next day I was doing laps around the halls of the hospital. My doctor was amazed at how quickly I was recovering.
I knew that I was given this huge gift and I wasn't about to waste it. I went home in 4 days and got myself ready for the next big battle.

I went to visit my Oncologist Dr. Ian whom I have to say I absolutely adore. He explained to me that he was going to put me through a rigorous chemo therapy because I had small cell cancer. I would be going every other week for the entire summer for cysto - platinum chemo.

Chemo therapy was unlike anything I had ever experienced. It is not something I would want to go through as an unbeliever. They hook you up to an IV first with water and then they start the chemo and then one more water and you are sent home. The process takes about eight hours. You go home and you are incredibly ill. Even with the medications for nausea that are excellent today you still get sick. I being a positive person was going to look at this as a good thing because perhaps I would loose some weight. I did not I gained weight. The hardest part of the chemo was yet to come.

I can remember I was in chemo for a few weeks when I noticed big clumps of my hair in my brush. I would run my fingers through my hair and to my horror my fingers would be filled with hair and there was a big bald spot on my head where my hair used to be. I know that it is only hair and I know that it will grow back but I was horrified! Over the next few days it got worse and worse I had huge bald spots all over my head. It was then that I asked my son to buzz my head and get rid of it all. I had heard all my life that vanity was a sin, and I was experiencing this to an extent in my life. That as my hair was falling I felt as though the person I used to be was wasting away. My body was reeling with nausea from the poison they were pumping into me and I looked like I had gone through an atomic blast. The one thing that never left me was my faith in God. It was getting stronger every day.

I would hear Him whisper to me, telling me that everything would be fine and not to worry. I can honestly tell you that during the hardest time in chemo was when the Lord brought me the most intense joy! He filled me so full of His love that I would weep with it! Even recalling it now brings tears to my eyes. It was very intense. Without God and His love, I don't know that I would have made it through my cancer. Just the word cancer brings great fear and dread. I am here to tell you that when God meets cancer.....cancer just doesn't stand a chance!

If you look at my picture with my bald head, my daughter told me that God just glowed through me. My hair now is about an inch all around my head and it is coming in really curly. My friend Colleen told me that it was my crown from the Lord. I have gotten more compliments on my new haircut from God then any of the haircuts I had in the past!

I hope that reading this blog has helped someone out there who might be going through something in their own lives that seems impossible. Know this Jesus looked at them and said "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible". Matt. 19:26. We can get through anything as long as we have God with us. Feel free to post anything that you have had to endure in my comments. I would love to have the opportunity to share your experience and pray with you.

Every single thing is a gift from God. Knowing that God loves us this much will lead us into a deep and more gratifying walk with Him.

3 comments:

My name is Patti and I am 39 years old and I am too a survivor of the big C. I just found out the other day that I am 3 months clear of my anal cancer after going through over a year of chemotherapy. It is the worst treatment ever isn't it?! I hated it with every bone in my body. I am so inspired by your post that I am thinking of revealing my bald head with some hair growing back on my myspace.

God is proud of us survivors and I am just so amazed to see someone so brave to put her baldie pict out there. I am still so scarred to do that myself but if you can do it so can i!! MY friend found your site on facebook, now I have to get an account!! God bless you. Let's stay C-free for life!

So proud of you mom for soldiering through your terrible ordeal and overcoming it with your faith in God and His greatness!!!

I am so proud of you! Just as soon as you get your Facebook account please add me as your friend. I would consider it an honor to have you for a friend. I was scared too, I just kinda put the pic up closed my eyes and pressed the button and there it was. I just look at it this way. It can't be harder then the cancer and if it helps someone else it is all worth it. Guess what my hair has grown back even better then it was before!

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